Americans Demand Imaginary 'Chef' to Prepare All Fast Food

Fast food is a luxury these days. Fast food chains can no longer just set up a plastic lean-to on the side of any major highway and expect Americans to flock in for 99-cent anus burgers; now, they have to convince impoverished Americans that their "Val-U Men-U" items were prepared by a real live chef.

In Ad Age, Maureen Morrison notes the alarming delicious trend of America's leading gristle-byproduct chains promoting their foodlike substances by alleging that a "chef" was, at some point, involved in its conceptualization, preparation, and/or marketing. Months ago a chef now employed by a fast food restaurant signed off on this particular combination of white bread, American cheese, mayonnaise, and pressed ground grade-D beef, you say? "Sign me—and my appetite—up!" say Americans.

One of Burger King's recent ads has been for the Chef's Choice burger. And though John Koch, executive chef and director-product innovation and culinary R&D, isn't featured in the ad, his signature is-and, well, it's the Chef's Choice burger. "There's word association there even if they don't actually have the chef in the ads," said [restaurant industry analyst Bonnie] Riggs

The American palate has now re-evolved back to the same point it was 80 years ago, when Chef Boyardee became popular. Not just any anus—chef anus!

[Ad Age]