Medical Marijuana Industry Discovers Foolproof Legal StrategyS

Medical marijuana is a very controversial issue for cities across America, pitting individual freedoms against municipal concerns with a backdrop of blah blah, [boilerplate "on the one hand, on the other hand" here]. The real question is: how can medical marijuana win, forever? A foolproof legal strategy is now emerging.

Just legally overpower the bastards. What a glorious age we live in, when weed spots can use the U.S. court system to defeat municipalities by bankrupting them with legal fees, just like rich people have been doing for hundreds of years! The LA Times reports that while larger cities in California—the Stoner Weed Marijuana Smoking Marijuana All The Time State—have had success fighting in court against the explosion of medical marijuana dispensaries, smaller towns are just too dang broke to afford it.

"[Sellers of the demon reefer have] got more money than everybody to throw at this, and they are just determined to sue on every matter.... We feel like we are caught in the middle."

As the medical marijuana business booms, cities are finding that regulating it is expensive. That's especially true of small and medium-sized California cities like Garden Grove, which don't have the in-house legal departments of Los Angeles and San Francisco and instead pay outside attorneys by the hour.

Haha, all the contradictory state and federal laws are so vague that cities have to go to court to get any municipal regulations enforced—but their pitiful little budgets can't afford to take on the slick marijuana lawyers retained by the marijuana industry with their copious marijuana profits from the sale of marijuana to marijuana-addled sex fiends who smoke marijuana in conjunction with marijuana sex parties full of marijuana sex fiends on marijuana.

Legally!

[LAT. Photo via]