Teacher's Been Masturbating Behind the Podium This Whole Time

We've all been there. Sometimes when you're sitting in math class at your suburban Christian school, you idly wonder to yourself: Is my teacher masturbating behind that podium right now? You just never know.

SCHAUMBURG, Ill. (CBS) – A teacher at a suburban Christian school has been charged with a felony, after he was fired for allegedly masturbating behind a podium while teaching class...Schaumburg police said he might have been doing it for the past 10 years or more.

And how did 75 year-old Paul LaDuke finally get caught? A student in his class told another teacher that he "appeared to be masturbating while seated at his podium during class."

Ain't that always the way? Hey kids, just focus on your work, okay? There's no "math" in masturbation.

[CBS Chicago via Christian Nightmares. Photo: Schaumberg PD]