Starbucks Is Tired of Being Your Urinal

We know what Starbucks is up to. First, they started clearing out all the laptop hobos who occupy tables for hours while nursing a single cup of coffee. And now, Starbucks is cutting back on its free public bathrooms. It's almost as if this multinational corporation only cares about money!

The NY Post reports that Starbucks—which now serves as the de facto public restrooms for all of Manhattan, now that a bunch of Barnes & Nobles closed down—is cutting back on the number of its stores whose bathrooms are open to the public, for masturbation or other purposes. Their perfectly legitimate rationale is that, you know, they are in the coffee selling business, not the "place to come and use the restrooms for free" business, or, for that matter, the "you can't afford office space so why not 'rent' our space here for an entire day for the price of a small coffee" business. They're in the money money money business! All that Starbucks hippie-dippie "community space free trade latte" tra la la is just fucking branding, okay? Buy your shit and get out. Make way for your neighbors, who have their own shit to buy. Starbucks shit.

It would be nice if the City of New York would build some public restrooms.

Everyone get mad at Starbucks though!

Update: Starbucks says the story is false, but also says "In rare cases at large stores with two restrooms, we have converted one of the restrooms for employee use." WE'LL SEE.

[NYP, photo via Asurroca/Flickr]