Stretching: Useless As Well As Ridiculous-Looking

Bone shaving! Mud runs! Tinsel Korey! Workout faux-pas! Terry's fitness! Stretching controversy! Boxing trainers! Exercise strategy! And the last overtraining question you'll ever need to ask! It's your Wednesday Fitness Watch, where we watch fitness—dynamically!

  • Lots of athletes get sore and the first thing they do is go have a bone-shaving operation, because it's the "cool" thing to do. Come on, athlete/ role models: if every other athlete out there started training with weights, or using "practice" to gain an edge, would you? Don't always run with the crowd.
  • You know what's popular these days? "Mud runs." People running around in mud. Yeah. Yeah, running through mud. It's pretty muddy I bet, and... I got nothing.
  • Q: Twilight's Tinsel Korey, you're one of the hottest actresses around or whatever from the vampire movies. You seem to be pretty fit. Is your name really "Tinsel Korey?" I mean what the fuck, seriously? I don't mean that as an insult or in a disrespectful way at all, I'm just saying, is that some sort of stage name? Or did your parents really name you "Tinsel Korey?" Was it some sort of punishment? I mean I have a funny name too, you can totally tell me. The whole thing just strikes me as unbelievable. You make me scoff by your mere existence. Are you an elaborate prank? A: "Cut up a bunch of veggies the night before so it's easier to have healthy snacks the next day," she says.
  • Are you making any common fitness "faux pas?" Well, let's see. Do you just sit there poking at your belly with pretzels sometimes, just looking in the mirror mournfully and poking that belly with extra-long pretzel stix, singing a song of woe? Then yes.
  • Terry Fasy was the owner of Terry's Total Fitness. Didn't stop him from going to jail. What hope do you have?
  • It's 2011, and we're still asking the question, "Should I stretch before my workout?" And the answer's still "Sure, if you're a pussy, and you are."
  • What's the key to becoming a successful boxing trainer? Love. Not anger or a cutthroat competitiveness, but love. You don't need to put the next man down. You don't need to step on the next man's head. You don't need to worry about what the next man is doing. You don't need to criticize the next man. You don't need to harass the next man. You don't need to be a weight on the next man's shoulders. You don't need to be a negative force in the next man's life. All you need to do is focus on one thing: love. A deep, abiding, unshakeable love, of money, that you take from your client's wallets in the locker room while they are "hitting the bag."
  • Interesting idea from the LA Times fitness desk: to get fit, exercise, rather than not exercising. I was lying about the "interesting" part.
  • When does training become overtraining? You know, I'm glad you asked that question. I've been waiting a long time to reply to you, "Overtraining is definitely not your problem." Then I snap three times in a Z-shaped pattern in the air. Can you smell that? Someone's been burned! So, what was your question?
[Photo: Michael Coghlan/ Flickr ]