Chickens-rights-championing nose-singer Morrissey was spotted today in Dallas getting his locks trimmed and sculpted into his trademark rockabilly 'do. (Morrissey was proudly touting allegiance to the Hitler Youth before anyone.) But unlike your typical barbershop patron who leaves the clippings on the floor, Morrissey requested a hair doggie-bag for the road:
A bystander at the shop testified that Morrissey scooped up his hair trimmings and took them to go.
What? WHY? What would possibly compel someone to save their own hair clippings? Was he knitting a penguin sweater with them? Does he toss them into crowds like he did flowers at Smiths gigs in the '80s? Or has Morrissey finally progressed past Nazi veganism to a lifestyle that eschews earthly plundering altogether, where the only acceptable sources of sustenance are whatever one can farm off of one's own body? Save the broccolis! Try hair-and-toenail salads washed down with a chilled glass of your own perspiration instead. Solipsismalism is the only humane dietary choice. [Pegasus News, Photo via Getty]