Kim Kardashian Scraps Christmas Cards Featuring Her Wedding PhotoS

Just like everything else about her nuptials, it seems like Kim Kardashian jumped the gun ordering her holiday cards with her wedding photo on them. Kristen Wiig is hanging out in her undies. Katy Perry is not pregnant. Paz de la Huerta ruined the ending of Boardwalk Empire. Tuesday's gossip has been known to make mistakes.

  • Kim Kardashian had to scrap her plans for a Christmas card featuring wedding photos of her and Jack's beanstalk Kris Humphries. Well, considering they didn't even pass out Halloween candy together there was no way they were going to have anything to with mistletoe (which Kourtney Kardashian still thinks is the male version of camel toe). Apparently before they even went on their honeymoon she was talking to a fancy stationary company about making up her holiday card and asked for 10 different samples featuring their official wedding picture. A "source" that is not at all related to the stationary company at all told Radar Online: "Kim is a planner, and is obsessed with details, and a total control freak. She wanted her Christmas cards to be perfect, and she wanted at least 10 different choices of holiday cards, black and white, matted finish, you name it, Kim thought of it. The proofs were delivered to Kim in mid-September, and she conveyed to the owners of the company that she was very pleased with the results. Kim said she would get back to them with a final choice, but alas, she never did, for obvious reasons." Her Christmas card is now a photo of her with the rest of the Klan (not the Ku Klux, the Kardashians). It should have a $100 bill in it and say, "Shh...let's not talk about it anymore." And she should send one to everyone in America. Occupy Kardashian Kristmas! [Radar Online, image via Getty]
  • Wanna see Kristen Wiig hanging out in her bra and panties? I know you do! [RadarOnline]
  • Katy Perry is not pregnant. Though, considering what she wore to the American Music Awards she does seem to want to dress as Mommie Dearest. [People]
  • Kim Kardashian Scraps Christmas Cards Featuring Her Wedding PhotoSRolling blackout Paz de la Huerta, one of my favorite people in the whole damn world, gave away part of the ending of the Boardwalk Empire this Sunday. When someone at a party asked her to give them a clue about the finale she said that her character's baby dies. Spoiler alert! See, that's what it's like talking to Paz. God, she's awesome. [Page Six, image via Getty]
  • Olivia Wilde better start hiding out from the rabid packs of free-ranging homosexuals because it looks like she might be dating their favorite imaginary scratch posts, Jake Gyllenhaal. They were getting all cozy at some restaurant in Manhattan the other day. Pro Tip: if a bunch of bears try to swipe a paw at you in a restaurant for cuddling with their favorite cub, you can always distract them with food—or Tom Colicchio. Either one. [Page Six]
  • You can now buy the infamous Pippa Middleton bridesmaid dress on Net-a-Porter.com if you live in the UK and have about $3100. You can't buy the ass to go in it. Well, you could, but it would look all fake and janky like you got some lipo and implants in a Best Western next to the highway, so best use your $3100 on something else like, I don't know, a head transplant. Yeah, you ugly. Pippa has moved onto different accessories. She was ice skating at some schmacy party in London last night. Now there's going to be a run on ice skating rinks the world over. Rockefeller Center just got even worse. [People, People]
  • DJ Paule DJ of Jersey Shore fame is going to be opening for Britney Spears on the last stop of her Empty Vessel Tour, and it's going to be filmed for his upcoming reality show. This has nothing to do with the fact that the two share a manager. No, it's because she has a deep and abiding love for ill-advised tattoos and questionable hair choices. [TMZ]
  • Need something to talk to your old Aunt Cheryl about at Thanksgiving other than Dancing with the Stars and Pall Malls? How about Frankie Valli's divorce. It's going to cost him a ton of money because of all the loot he's pulling from the musical Jersey Boys. You can probably talk to your old gay uncle Jerry about this too, just make sure you call Jersey Boys the "worst thing to happen to Broadway since Cats." [TMZ]
  • "Did Kate Gosselin Get a Facelift?" You fucking think? God. [Us Weekly]
  • TMZ points out even if the L.A. Sheriff finds out that Robert Wagner pushed Natalie Wood into the ocean resulting in her death, the worst he can be charged with is manslaughter either voluntary or involuntary, and both crimes have a statute of limitations of 3 years which ran out about the time of the Los Angeles Olympics and everyone buying Thriller. So, this whole inquisition is kind of pointless, unless he (or someone else) gets charged with premeditated murder and that would only happen if Angela Fletcher or Benson & Stabler were around. Yeah, this whole thing is just crazy talk. But fun crazy talk! [TMZ]
  • Sean "Puffed Diddly" Combs will not be changing his nickname from "Diddy" back to "Puffy." I know you were very concerned about this. [Gatecrasher]