The latest stress- and technology-related affliction that is destroying relationships and lives around the world is sleep-texting: a "rare condition" in which people "send incoherent text messages while asleep to their friends and family." There is no known cure, besides keeping your phone out of the bedroom.
Do you think you can do it? It's just for a few hours every night. Contemplate the many ways your quality of life might improve: No more awkward conversations with your coworkers or probation officers about those mysterious and inappropriate sexts you sent. No more having to say, "oh, hah ha, I thought I was texting my friend in Warsaw! You know those Poles and their consonants, heh, sorry," or having to make any other excuse. No more "when did I buy these gold ingots?" No more problems, ever again. Oh, except for text neck—that's an incurable, lifelong condition.