Kris Humphries Loves to Fart on Girls

Kris Humphries' stunning pattern of gas-passing is revealed. Jennifer Lopez and her boytoy escape to Hawaii. And Prince Harry is still partying out west. Saturday gossip rode Revenge of the Mummy, twice.

  • Mere days after the shocking report that Kris Humphries "farts in Kourtney Kardashian's face" on the upcoming season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians comes damning evidence that Humphries cannot stop farting on girls. Ex-girlfriend Bianka Kamber reveals to The Daily Mail (emphasis ours):

    She said: 'Kris had no flirting skills whatsoever. Flirting to him was like burping and like blowing it in your face or farting and then throwing the covers over your head. Literally, as gross as it sounds, that's how he like broke the ice and that was his flirting.

    Given that Kamber's story represent the third alleged flatulent incident—following the time he farted while Kim was giving him a manicure, and the reported fart in Kourtney's face—we believe we've all but confirmed that Kris Humphries is a fart-obsessed maniac. [Daily Mail, Page Six]

  • Young shirt taker-offer Casper Smart is accompanying Jennifer Lopez to Hawaii, where he will drag her down into the sordid world of highway drag racing and driving with a suspended license. [Page Six]
  • Despite the fact that we won the Revolutionary War, Prince Harry was given "a behind-the-scenes studio tour and gourmet lunch" at Universal Studios. He also went on several rides, "including King Kong 360 3-D, the War of the Worlds, Jurassic Park: The Ride and Revenge of the Mummy, which he rode twice." He reportedly vowed to his assembled noblemen that he would bring "this dev'lish 'lecktricity" back to England and build his own theme park. [People]
  • Single-celled organism Piers Morgan has undergone agamogenesis and given rise to a genetically-identical offspring, known as Piers Morgan Prime. [OK!]
  • Chaz Bono, who is a brave if not particularly thoughtful person, proposed to his girlfriend on his upcoming Oprah network special. I mean, I think he's proposing? He just kind of opens up the box with the ring in it. "It's gorgeous. Thank you so much," his now-fiancée (?) Jennifer Elia says in response. [People]
  • Lindsay Lohan is actually working really hard at her court-ordered gig at the morgue, possibly because the corpses tell her secrets. [TMZ]
  • Guess who's in Paris? Besides French people! That's right: Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, and all three of their weirdly-named kids, who were sucked into a time warp that spit them out in the middle of the Reign of Terror. Scary! But also, fun. [People]