Yesterday's zeitgeist-iest Black Friday shopper—the California Walmart-woman who allegedly pepper-sprayed a crowd of fellow Xbox seekers, creating the scene captured in this video—surrendered to the authorities Friday night, but was released without charge. Before she left the police station, officers asked her for pepper-spraying protips.
Just kidding—she asked them for protips. Okay, so that didn't happen, either. What did/is happening: Police are interviewing witnesses, collecting evidence, and (probably) creating a Tumblr of Photoshops featuring the woman pepper-spraying her way through the Mannerist and Baroque periods.