What should have been just another sleepy Canadian Football League alumni luncheon in Vancouver on Friday turned unexpectedly violent, when Joe Kapp, 73, former quarterback for the B.C. Lions, got into a fight with his longtime rival, 74-year-old Angelo Mosca, former defensive tackle for the Hamilton Tiger-Cats.

The brawl began with Kapp holding out a peace offering of a single flower, to which Mosca replied, "Stick it up your ass," eliciting a big chuckle from the audience. Then Kapp took things a little further by pressing the flower in Mosca's face. Mosca swatted it away with his microphone, then Kapp hit back with the flower. Mosca retaliated with a wide swing of his cane, grazing Kapp. Kapp then proceeding to whale on Mosca with his fists, delivering one serious right to Mosca's jaw and sending Mosca tumbling through a banner and off the stage, to the gasps of the crowd. Then, finally, people stopped being entertained long enough to get out of their seats and break up the two curmudgeonly nemeses.

The bad blood between the two men apparently stems back to the 1963 Grey Cup — Canadian sports fans love their cups as much as they love their player-on-player violence — when Mosca used a controversial maneuver to knock Lions running back Willie Fleming out of the game.

Clearly, there's only one, reasonable way to put this 50-year-old rivalry to bed: Arm both men with crossbows and let them loose in the woods, and air the entire battle on pay-per-view. Let The Geezer Games commence! [sfgate]