Who Is Pippa Middleton's Mystery Man Friend?

Pippa Middleton steps out with two, yes two, boys at once. J.Lo had a lovely holiday with her new hunk. Jennifer Aniston and her beau nearly ran into Brad Pitt. Justin Bieber's fake babymomma's ex boyfriend is causing drama. Monday's gossip needs relationship advice.

  • Derriere to the thrown (get it?!) Pippa Middleton was at some tennis match romancing two comely young gentleman this weekend. She was at the ATP World Tour tennis finals with two guys, one with dark hair who looks like your best friend's boyfriend's best friend who works in finance and is kind of attractive but really douchey and you'd like to marry him because he has lots of money, but he wears shoes from Aldo and he's just not doing it for you down there. The other guy is dashing and blond and looks like Hugh Grant from every movie in the '90s and you know he's super hot but totally poor and sleeps around a lot. I made all of those details up, because we have no idea who Pippa was at the match with, but she's probably shagging both of them at the same time. Or she's on an episode of Elimidate. Probably that. [Metro, Image via Pacific Coast News]
  • Jennifer Lopez spent her Thanksgiving weekend hanging out in her bikini with her hot dancer boyfriend in Hawaii while someone else watched her kids. God, I hate her. [Us Weekly]
  • Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and their brood of kids had a close encounter of the Aniston kind at a movie theater in L.A. It seems the Jolie-Pitts and Jennifer Aniston just missed each other at a movie theater in Hollywood over the weekend. They were in the same place at the same time and they could have seen each other, but they didn't. Damn, that would have been a great story. Except it didn't happen. Know what, I bet Aniston could take Jolie in a fight. Just saying. I mean all those years of pent up rage and her sad loneliness and she's been doing yoga while Angelina just starves herself. Yeah, I totally have Aniston in this fight. Totally. Now, if only we could get them to meet. [NY Daily News]
  • The ex-boyfriend of Mariah Yeater, the girl who claims she got busy in a Burger King bathroom with Justin Bieber and had his baby, claims that he is the baby's father. Bobby Powell says he's positive that spawn is his and wants to take a DNA test to prove it. Bobby Powell. That's a hot name. That's the name of the cutest boy in high school who you had a crush on but then goes nowhere in life because he, well...knocked up some girl at 18 who goes on to say a pop star fathered his baby. There you go. The kid is his. Case closed. [TMZ]
  • Regis Philbin, the world's last remaining vaudeville performer, wants to host a prime time variety show, now that he's retired from Holding Hands with Kelly Ripa. He said his show would be "something I would want to watch," because, well, only old people want to watch variety shows. We wish Regis the best of luck. His show probably won't get as much attention as my grandmother's award-winning vegetable garden, but we all need our retirement projects, right? Oh, also Katie Couric has totally welshed on a bet that Regis would cry on his final episode. That's so like her. Pay up, Katie! [Page Six]
  • Charlize Theron was a big old nerd in high school and everyone used to make fun of her. "I wasn't in the popular crowd. There was a really popular girl at school and I was obsessed with her. I mean you would go to jail for that stuff today. I was in tears one day because I couldn't sit next to her." That's funny, because that is just how Amanda Seyfried reacted at the Golden Globes when she couldn't sit next to Charlize (Note: I made that up). Man, it's all a cycle. [People]
  • Scarlett Johansson doesn't have a Facebook or a Twitter. She tells Interview magazine, "I can't think of anything I'd rather do less than have to continuously share details of my everyday life." We can't think of anything we'd rather do less than follow them. If there's one thing the world does not need it's one more boring celebrity Twitter feed. Right, @RealHughJackman? [NY Daily News]
  • The universe's most boring Real Housewife, Cindy Barshop, has shuttered several locations of her vajazzaling emporium and pubic tonsorial parlor Completely Bare, supposedly because she got axed from the Real Houswives of New York and now no one wants to get Swarovski's on their snatches. She says it's because she never meant to keep them open that long. Even this gossip item is boring. Look. I'm asleep. I'm drooling on the screen. [Page Six]
  • Ultimate fame ball, Gawker character alum, and the saddest thing to come out of CW's Scared Straight with Tinsley Mortimer, Devorah Rose (sorry, D, I'm not bolding you), is now hanging out with novelist Salman Rushdie. She already has a reality show pitch out for Beauty and the Beast reality show, because Salman is so gorgeous and she...well, you figure it out. [Page Six]
  • Girl, T-Boz from TLC is broke. She's a scrub! Let's throw her a bake sale or something. [TMZ]