What Christmas has been missing, I think, is guns. Right? The Gospel of Luke is cute, I guess, but it's kind of, you know, "not enough guns." Luckily, that is a problem that the state of Arizona is uniquely suited to rectify. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: "Santa and Machine Guns."
Yes, you too, if you are so inclined, can be at the exact meeting place of America's violent fixation on technological phallus substitutes and its unembarrassed replacement of authentic religiosity with mass-manufactured ripoffs of pagan rituals, on December 10, at the Scottsdale Gun Club:
The family event allows people to take a holiday card picture with St. Nick — and a high-powered fire arm.
"I thinks it's going to be all in fun from those who support the second amendment and those who don't. Whether you're a gun advocate or not, you should have a lot of fun with it," said gun club member Richard Jones.
You bet, gun club member Richard Jones! You bet we will have a lot of fun with it. Fun, fun, fun.