How to Write the Most-Shared Facebook Article of All Time

Facebook has released its list of the most-shared news stories of 2011. If Facebook were a newspaper, it would be Reader's Digest, National Geographic and Susan Miller's Astrology Zone all mixed up in a tepid casserole.

The mom-ification of Facebook is complete: 14 out of 40 top articles were about kids and parents (#4: "Parents, don't dress your girls like tramps"), with the next most-common category being animals (#8 Dog in Japan stays by the side of ailing friend in rubble), astrology (#3 "No, your zodiac sign hasn't changed") and that goddamn Tiger Mother story (#13).

Judging from the list, this would be the most-shared Facebook story of all time, scientifically-speaking:

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An uplifting story about twin puppies who simultaneously rescued an American Tiger Mother's two attractive young daughters when they were swept away by the Tsunami in northern Japan, where their success-minded parents had sent them to learn superior math skills, which they later used to calculate that everyone's Zodiac sign was off by one.

[Image of Dog Rescued from the Tsunami via AP]