Alright, guys, I have a confession to make: I broke Glee. Well, maybe not me alone, but I think I done broke it. I told it to stop being an insane mess that makes no sense and now it's just...a boring mess that makes no sense. Man, last night.

Can we talk about last night? Well, not really, because it's like an hour of my night is just gone. It was like I had a complete narcoleptic fit. It's just a big black space. It's like that time I woke up on the floor of the Phoenix with my scarf in the toilet, my underwear over my head, and staring at graffiti that said, "Beyoncé Shops at Strawberry." It's just not there at all because it was so damn boring.

Here is your recap: Santana came out of the closet for no reason and now her grandmother hates her, Sue Motherfucking Sylvester stole Coach Bieste's man, Brittany beat Babygay Kurt for school president, Rachel tried to stuff the ballot boxes so Kurt would win and she'd have a friend in New York but she turned herself in and now can't sing at sectionals, Shelby had sex with Puck and he's so stupid he told Quinn about it. There, that is the entire episode. That's what you missed on Glee. But you didn't miss much.

Now I'm just going to go through the songs and bitch about things. There were some things I like too, but this is going to be mostly bitching.

I hate when I have to bitch about Glee and I feel really bad because it seems like season three was going to be a course correction for season two, but trying to slow it down and make it make sense has sucked all the life out of this show that I used to love. Now I watch it and think, "Damn, when is this over so I can go and watch Storage Wars?" That's so sad. I'd rather watch a reality show about junk!

OK, so let's start the bitching with Kurt's wardrobe. While I appreciate sartorial innovation, why are we dressing him like FIT Ken Doll? A half-caftan by Balencia La De by Nicholas Guissepiagioaagioh. It's something out of a Fake Chloe video. Later he wears a knit fashion poncho cape by Obesity and Speed (or something). I don't even want to mention his gromitted neckerchief that he's wearing in the first scene, then he's wearing the half sweater, then he's wearing the neckerchief again. Did he do a costume change just to sing? Well, considering it is Babygay Kurt, then maybe. But look at Blaine. He is well-dressed and obviously into fashion, but isn't some sort of overdressed minstrel. I know we're keeping it in character, but can't we reign Kurt in a little?

Oh, this is a P!nk song. Whatever.