Now You Only Have One Creepily Smart Serial Killer to Worry About

If you were worried about the fact that police have been saying two different serial killers, both well-versed in police techniques, were responsible for the ten bodies found on Long Island's Gilgo Beach over the last year, stop worrying: there's just one serial killer! So, good news! Or something.

The whole "two killers" theory seemed to based on the sheer number of victims: as the Suffolk County D.A. put it, "the area in and around Gilgo Beach has been used to discard human remains for some period of time." But police told media today that they're now operating under the assumption that there's just one guy, who's creepily smart and possibly a former law-enforcement officer, murdering prostitutes he hires on Craigslist, and also one toddler:

[Suffolk County Police Commissioner Richard] Dormer said there was enough evidence to link the dumping of the remains of 10 people to one killer.

"Serial killers evolve," he said. "They don't necessarily do the same thing all the time. What's common here is the dumping ground, and the people who are victims: sex workers."

Now, they haven't ruled out the possibility that a second person helped! So, just to be safe: don't talk to people who are alone, and don't talk to people who are in pairs. And also don't put up any Craigslist ads, in any category. And don't go anywhere on Long Island.

[NYDN, NYP, image via AP]