A maniac of a 14-year-old girl (they're all maniacs) went on a pepper spray rampage, spraying down a classroom of students and sending nine to the hospital. Remember all the worst scenes in Mean Girls when Lindsay Lohan imagines the high school as a chaotic wild animal kingdom? It was just like that but with pepper stray. And in Harlem.
Details are scant, but the police who responded to the incident issued the girl a summons and education officials have promised an investigation. Whoops! This is not good news for the Academy of Social Action, where just 73% of students said they feel safe in the school's hallways, according to a school environment survey. Better steer clear of the cafeteria and the peppery condiments within, kids!
This is the second time the school has made headlines: last year Principal Crystal Simmons was fired for having a tawdry lesbian affair with an assistant principal. Not just an affair, you guys, a lesbian affair. What smut! You all know that lesbians are the gateway drug for misbehaving high school students: put a gay adult in their midst and the next thing you know they're spraying toxic chemicals at their peers.