We're still pretty early into the holiday season, but lo, enemy forces have already entrenched themselves on a central front in this year's War on Christmas: Rhode Island, state of... whatever. The governor there — like other recent governors! — has decided to call the 17-foot blue spruce in the Statehouse a "holiday tree," rather than a Christmas tree. Oh. Shit.
It is of course silly to put a massive evergreen in your Statehouse and refuse to acknowledge that it's a symbol of the specific holiday Christmas. On the other hand, why do people go out of their way to give a shit about this? Let's look at the governor's explanation for siding with the forces of abusive nomenclature:
Calling the 17-foot-tall spruce a holiday tree is in keeping with Rhode Island's founding in 1636 by religious dissident Roger Williams as a haven for tolerance, where government and religion were kept separate, independent Gov. Lincoln Chafee said.
"I would encourage all those engaged in this discussion - whatever their opinion on the matter - to use their energy and enthusiasm to make a positive difference in the lives of their fellow Rhode Islanders," Chafee said, offering an initiative to feed the needy as a good place to start.
Oh, man. The governor is defending his decision with the naughtiest rationale in the book — "tolerance." That's gonna be a problem. And the more fundamental issue rests with the identity of the governor himself: It's Lincoln Chafee, who until recently was the most liberal Republican in the United States Senate, who voted against the Iraq war and everything, and then became an independent and endorsed Barack Obama.
Fox & Friends was born to cover this, in indignation. You can watch it do so in the clip up top! It probably won't be the last segment on this topic.