Look, Greta Van Susteren Is Not a 'Real Journalist,' Okay?S

Rigidly visaged Fox News television presenter Greta Van Susteren has already established herself as the least journalistic "journalist" in all of this great land, due to her complete mystification as to the very concept of journalism. This is most clearly evidenced by the fact that she is close personal friends with newsworthy figures, yet continues to pretend that she is "covering" them as a "journalist," rather than "performing metaphorical fellatio upon them" like a "fanboy." Whether you think this is convenient or inconvenient is closely correlated with whether or not you think Fox News is a "good" news network.

Greta's not just friends with Sarah Palin; her lawyer husband, John Coale, is pals with Herman Cain, and Greta just had a big exclusive interview with Cain's wife, Gloria, about all those sexual harassment allegations. Not only did Greta not disclose this on her show, but she refused to comment to the NYT today about it. (Although her husband did "say that his friendship with Mr. Cain had no influence on Ms. Van Susteren." Well then, FORGET IT.)

Maybe Greta's taken to her own blog to weigh the finer points of what does and does not constitute a "conflict of interest," hmm? Let's see, what's on the Gretawire today.. "It is no secret that there is lots of political rancor in Washington - that is also spreading across the nation. Is it fair to blame ONE person or ONE political party? Start bloggging…tell me what YOU think."

In conclusion, Greta Van Susteren is a hack and if you think that she is a "real journalist," you are probably either too dumb or too dishonest to have an opinion which should be valued.

[Photo of Greta and her journalistic counterpart via Getty]