Bono Cannot Stop Writing About HimselfS

Bono. This guy. The guy from U2. But you probably know him for being the world's all-around best human. He's not just some rock star that groupies want to bang; he's some rock star who's always writing op-eds about Serious World Issues, which makes an entirely new set of groupies want to bang him.

While we agree with Bono's political views in the abstract sense, in the concrete sense, we would rather not read writing by Bono on any topic. Particularly because—no matter how weighty the topic—Bono's topic is always, fundamentally, Bono. Here's the very first sentence from his NYT op-ed today about World AIDS Day:

I'LL tell you the worst part about it, for me.

What is the worst part about AIDS for you, Bono? Tell us. Please. First sentence of his 2010 op-ed on a UN summit in New York:

I've noticed that New Yorkers, and I sometimes try to pass for one these days, tend to greet the word "summit" with an irritated roll of the eyes, a grunt, an impatient glance at the wristwatch.

Have you noticed that, Bono? Try to pass, do you? Interesting. First sentence of his 2010 op-ed on progress in Africa:

I SPENT March with a delegation of activists, entrepreneurs and policy wonks roaming western, southern and eastern Africa trying very hard to listen - always hard for a big-mouthed Irishman.

Is that how you spent March? Did you try to listen? Was it hard, for you? I see. First sentence of his 2009 op-ed on Rebranding America:

A FEW years ago, I accepted a Golden Globe award by barking out an expletive.

Did you accept your award like that? Great story. First sentence of his 2009 op-ed on how to save your very soul:

I AM in Midtown Manhattan, where drivers still play their car horns as if they were musical instruments and shouting in restaurants is sport.

Are you? Are you there, Bono? In Midtown? Is that where you are? Read you loud and clear. First sentence of his 2009 column on Frank Sinatra:

Once upon a couple of weeks ago ...I'm in a crush in a Dublin pub around New Year's.

I thought you were in Midtown, Bono!? You move fast. You, Bono. You, you, you.

We don't want you to stop your activism, Bono. We just want you to stop obsessively writing about yourself, when you're supposed to be writing about something important. The easiest way for this to happen would be for you to stop writing altogether. You're a pretty bad writer.

Also stop talking. Thanks much.

[Image via AP]