Of all the annoying things that internet commenters do, and boy are there a lot of them, this is the one I hate the most. If you're commenting on an article, don't you think you should, you know, read the damn article!
There is nothing worse than the commenter who reads a headline and the introduction of an article and then races down to the bottom to put their two cents worth not even taking into account that the very thing they might be asking or commenting on has been addressed in said article. Man, that is so annoying. It's as if the article doesn't matter at all!
This happened in droves (should I say swarms?) on an article today where I asked you guys to nominate a new term for "fag hag." Dozens of people zoomed to the bottom and wrote "fruit fly!" right in without even bothering to get to paragraph four where the issue of "fruit fly" was addressed. Seriously folks?
You're welcome to disagree with me about the positive or negatives of the term, or agree with me. That's fine. That's great. And there were several comments that acknowledged my argument and either agreed or took issue with it. Those are great. That's what we want. For you to enjoy the article and use it as a jumping off point for discussion. But if you're going to suggest "fruit fly" let us know that you read the damn article. Look at this great comment neMouse left about why it's a problematic term. Good job.
What I hate is people who don't even care what is written they just want to talk and give no indication that they read what was already mentioned in the article (and they certainly didn't read the rest of the comments, where plenty of people were already talking about this option!). We have a place to say wherever you want out of context and you are more than welcome to go there and say all the things you have to say. Just talk. Blabber away. But these folks won't get a chance now, because I am swatting each one of those "fruit fly" people. Here are their corpses:
- Ellis T Harrison
- Totally Not a Troll (Ed. note: I beg to differ)
- Sinister Bill
- Cowboy Rob
- David G.
A Few Notes & How to Submit Nominations
All decisions about commenter executions are final. There is no appeal, though bribery is sometimes acceptable depending on the severity of the offense and the amount of the bribe. Executed commenters may be allowed back after a suitable period of exile.
Because this process is to better the community, citizen's arrests for unruly commenters are welcome and encouraged. Executions can be based on a single incident or general and prolonged suckiness. Please submit your nominations to email@example.com.
Please include your rationale for execution and a link to the specific comment (you can get the direct link by clicking on the comment's timestamp) for evidence. Any commenter who submits a successful accusation for execution will be rewarded and deputized with a gold star. Happy commenting, and read the damn articles!