Guys! Twinsies! NASA scientists have discovered the most earth-like planet yet, Kepler 22-b, and we are ready to move any minute now:
The planet [...] is about 2.4 times the size of Earth [we can finally buy a couch! — Ed.], and has a temperature of about 22C.
It is the closest confirmed planet yet to one like ours — an "Earth 2.0".
What's Kepler 22-b like? Well, "the team does not yet know if Kepler 22-b is made mostly of rock, gas or liquid," but we've talked to some sources who tell us that on Kepler 22-b, people are always nice to each other, all the time, and no one ever gets fat, and the subway is never late. Also everyone dresses really well, and no one minds if you drink too much and reveal embarrassing secrets. That's what scientists are speculating, at any rate. Real scientists. So let's go! It's only 600 light-years away!
[BBC, artist's depiction of Kepler 22-b via NASA]