Here's the ten millionth consecutive miserable Rick Perry ad to run in Iowa, titled "Strong." Let's make fun of it line by line, shall we?

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian...

It is December 7, Rick Perry. Time's running out. If you want to say "Mitt Romney is a sneaky fucking Mormon" to the evangelicals, then just say it outright. No one likes an encoder.

...but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.

A perfect contrast: How can (a) people known to be sexually attracted to members of their own gender be allowed to serve in the United States military at the same time that (b) some schools won't let children pray to Santa Claus? Why are some things allowed to happen in some places but other things can't happen in other places? Y'all don't even have an answer.

As President, I'll end Obama's war on religion.

He most likely isn't referring to the ongoing American military action in seven or so Muslim countries.


And I'll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage.

He'll troll the comments sections of some obnoxious liberal blogs, got it.

Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.

3.79 million square miles of untapped natural resources and broad access to two oceans made America strong. My apologies, sorry, yes, faith too. Anyway, whatever it is that She needs now probably doesn't involve Rick Perry.