Laughably Mild Sex Story Torments the Very Soul of Yeshiva University

College newspapers: how are they shocking and outraging campus officials with mild sexual content today? Well, you know, just in the normal way, by writing something about sex. But this time, more Jewish!

The latest incident of history repeating itself comes at Yeshiva University, where the student paper, The Beacon, published an anonymous essay by a female student about having S-E-X (with a man) penis in vagina unmarried sexual relations, sex sex sex. This is literally the most explicit part of this hilariously un-scandalous-by-modern-standards essay:

Between the fumbling, the pain, the pleasure, I convince myself that I've learned how to make love.

Cuddling with him that night, I tell him how much he means to me, but I know I can't tell him I love him.

Unmarried college girl drinks two beers, has consensual sexual encounter! The Whore of Babylon has returned! Of course, this is an orthodox Jewish university and therefore there are important religious considerations here, blah blah faux-respectful boilerplate, etc. Now there's a huge uproar and the paper's editor has stepped down and the student council has pulled the paper's funding, "which was $500 this past semester."

I guess what this all means is... Cute College Journalist Seeks Generous Benefactor for 'Assistance' With Expenses. Discretion a must! Vagina vagina vagina religion penis.

[WSJ]