The Saddest Woman Ever to Fail to Cook Meth in a Walmart

The Saddest Woman Ever to Fail to Cook Meth in a Walmart

Here's your bleak and/or infuriating tale of mortally dangerous desperation of the day: Tulsa police arrested a woman for attempting to make meth inside a Walmart store yesterday. Elizabeth Elisha Halfmoon was in the store for six hours. When police finally noticed her, she was "mixing sulfuric acid with starter fluid in a bottle."

Why would she risk blowing up an entire Walmart and all the people in it? (Or, you know, as many people as a bottle-sized blow-up could reach?)

Responding officers say she claimed she was "too broke to buy the chemicals."

"She didn't have the money to make the purchases of the chemicals that were needed so she was taking what was needed in the bottle," says Officer David Shelby.

The only injury was to a responding police officer, who got a chemical burn on his hands.

"When firefighters were on the scene she made statements to them that is what she was doing, she was attempting to obtain these chemicals and was in the process of trying to manufacture meth. However, she said she was not very good at it," says Shelby.

Merry Christmas, you live in a world of desperation and incompetence. Silver lining: resourcefulness. [Fox23, KJRH, image via Tulsa County Jail]