This Week in Commenter Executions: Don't Talk About Yourself

You ever been to a party and there's that one annoying person who always hijacks the conversation and brings it back to themselves and all the wonderful and important things they're doing right now? God, I hate those people.

And I hate those commenters too. I've been seeing a lot of self-promotion around these parts lately and it's starting to drive me a bit batty. Take this comment by heynow211 on a Real Housewives recap:

this guy Patrick kills me: Other pointless scenes consisted of looking at Mauricio's mothers new face. If you recall she got some face work done by Dr. Paul and, honestly, she looks exactly the same. When we saw her at the hospital she looked like a burn victim and now, 6 weeks later, she looks like she's only 68 instead of 70. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the surgery, but her hair appears to be yellow, fried, and matted to her head. He should shoot her hair with Botox until it spikes up like Ma'am Paupadopolis. Just a helpful medical suggestion. Later, Kyle and her Carmen San Diego hat have a Cinco de Mayo party to gather up all 4 Mexican's in the Beverly Hills neighborhood and eat tacos. Oh, and they'll be sure to show off Estrella's new old face.

[link to website redacted]

a nice compliment to Brian's recaps!

Thanks, heynow211, but why do you have to bring it back to you? His link didn't even have anything to do with his comment and nothing to do with the recap other than offering up another recap! It's one thing to refer people to another site to help you make an argument or provide documentation for your argument, it's another to put it there just to drive traffic to your site.

Would you go into a restaurant and tell all the other diners that the place you own across the street is just as nice and maybe they should check it out instead? Actually, you probably would, and if we owned that restaurant, we'd kick your ass out on the curb. So that's what we're doing now, except there's no restaurants and you can't eat a post. If you want to comment, guess you're going to have to do it on your blog from now on.

A Few Notes & How to Submit Nominations

All decisions about commenter executions are final. There is no appeal, though bribery is sometimes acceptable depending on the severity of the offense and the amount of the bribe. Executed commenters may be allowed back after a suitable period of exile.

Because this process is to better the community, citizen's arrests for unruly commenters are welcome and encouraged. Executions can be based on a single incident or general and prolonged suckiness. Please submit your nominations to executions@gawker.com.

Please include your rationale for execution and a link to the specific comment (you can get the direct link by clicking on the comment's timestamp) for evidence. Any commenter who submits a successful accusation for execution will be rewarded and deputized with a gold star. Happy commenting, as long as you don't talk about yourself!