Let's all let out the deep breaths we've been holding in anticipation of the G.I. Joe sequel (wouldn't it be great if this was actually a G.I. Jane sequel? Wait, would it? We'll never know!). Yes, it is here and it looks, I don't know, violent? Action packed? Explosive? It's certainly got all the trimmings of a summer blockbuster flick. There's a ninja sword fight on the face of a mountain. Cue the exclamation points.
Bruce Willis is in this Retaliation, shooting machine guns from the back of an El Camino and making more old people jokes about his cholesterol, which should be fun because Bruce Willis is always fun and increasingly goofy to watch. Together with Channing Tatum and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, the trifecta of bald and belligerent biceps is complete. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who has moved on and up into a much darker kind of action movie, will certainly be missed by no one other than me, probably.
What do we think, readers? Is summer an excuse to watch something that looks so blatantly awful?