If being a weirdo is a heritable trait, Trent Arsenault is making the world a much stranger place. He's a self-fashioned "free sperm donor," bestowing his super-powerful seed on needy couples. But the FDA wants to shut him down.
Since 2006, the 36-year-old Silicon Valley computer security expert and Naval Academy grad says he's helped more than a dozen couples get pregnant, out of the goodness of his heart, and a nerd Ghengis Kahn complex.
"I'm happy to help the rest of the 99 percent who aren't so rich," he told the San Jose Mercury News. "Maybe some of my techie genes will produce one of the next scientists here in Silicon Valley."
Trent's website, trentdonor.org, is a nauseau-inducing marvel. See the "organic sperm" section, where Trent expounds on the benefits of his all-natural diet and low carbon footprint. Trent was featured in a San Francisco Chronicle article about people who eat extremely low-calorie diets in the hope of extending their lives; he's eaten the the same three meals every day for four years: A blueberry smoothie for breakfast and dinner, and a spinach salad for lunch. Perhaps that explains Trent's latest sperm count, scanned and posted on the site: "Trent's latest Sperm Count is at 202 Million/mL. The average male sperm count is 60 Million/mL."
Unfortunately for Arsenault, the FDA has deemed him a "manufacturer of human cells" (but aren't we all?) and has demanded he cease operation. He could face a $100,000 fine and a year in prison, according to the Mercury News.
Naturally, the Huffington Post has taken up Trent's cause:
While we can certainly understand the FDA's concern, we can't think of a better biological father than Trent Arsenault. Would you really rather trust some no-name who came in a cup for $50?
Human body parts and tissue are becoming as interchangeable as Legos, prompting cries for, among other things, a legalized kidney market. Is local, organic sperm the next big Thing? Couples fawning over their healthy, happy sperm donor like New York chefs over a piece of Brookstone Beef? Icelandic sperm imported and sold for outrageous mark-up at Whole Foods.
[Image via Trentdonor.org]