There is nothing worse than a Toys GRRRRR Us during Christmas, am I right? The only thing worse is when there is some lunatic in the store trying to slash people to bits with a light saber. We're lucky someone didn't get Darth Mauled. HA! Nerd jokes. I kill myself.
I should be arrested for even acknowledging Star Wars Part 1: Menace 2 Society in public, but there you go. Cops showed up at a Portland Toys 'R' Us after getting a 911 call that a man was terrorizing the store with Luke Skywalker's favorite weapon. When the cops showed up, the man was in the parking lot, and they tried to arrest him, but he defended himself against the Emperor's clone troops with his weapon.
Officers tried to arrest the man, but he kept swinging the light saber at them, Simpson said. One tried to use his Taser on the suspect but the device didn't work.
Another officer used his Taser and made contact, but the man knocked one of the wires away with the light saber.
Man, this story just gets better and better. It has everything: a crazy person, Star Wars reference, a "don't tase me, bro." Where is the video? It would light the internet on fire like an exploding Death Star.
Eventually the cops wrestled the 30-year-old assailant to the ground and brought him in for mental evaluation. The poor guy was probably just trying to protest the unspeakable evil of the Star Wars Holiday Special.
[Image of a man who has never terrorized anyone with his light saber and is totally unrelated to all of this via Nac888/Flickr]