National Menorah Vastly Overcompensating For SomethingS

Happy Hanukkah, to one and all! Sorry — I mean happy holidays. Actually, no I don't. I mean Happy Hanukkah! Let your Heeb flag fly! Gorge on gelt! Lose it on latkes! Spin a dreidel once, watch it fall over, get bored, and go open a present! Hanukkah comes but once a year, and lasts a fleeting eight nights, so best to enjoy it while it's here. The annual lighting of the National Menorah took place on the White House Ellipse on Tuesday evening, with first-night torchbearing duties bestowed upon none other than Director of the United States Office of Management and Budget, Jacob J. Lew. Way to count those pennies for America, Jacob Jew! I mean Lew! I mean — wait, that came out totally wrong. Wow, would you look at that gigantic menorah! That's one big menorah. Don't think I've ever seen one that big. Yup. Real big ceremonial candelabra they're oilin' up over there. Real big. [Washington Post, Photo via AP]