Christmas weekend is upon us, and if you're not already drunk you probably should be soon. But how? The Wall Street Journal's Wine section has some recommendations. But so do we! Try some of these great selections for a perfect holiday

Franzia Boxed Wine, Cabernet Sauvignon, $10-$12 Our tasters noticed strong hints of "wine" and an undercurrent of "like, red wine?" flavors in this bold Cabernet. Pair with breath mints and a furtive cigarette on the porch.

Carlo Rossi, White Grenache, $10-$12 Here, the subtle flavor of alcohol flirts with a powerful taste of sugar. "This jug is heavy," noted one taster. Pair with Christmas cookies and more Christmas cookies.

Boone's Farm, Strawberry Hill, $3-$5 This wonderfully evocative malt-based wine beverage impressed our tasters with its "strawberry" flavor and "strawberry" scent. Pair with cold turkey eaten directly out of refrigerator.

André, Extra Dy Champagne, $2-$5 Our tasters told us "this tastes kind of like champagne," mentioning especially "how do you open this fucking thing?" Pair with Franzia boxed wine.

Popov Vodka, $11-$13 "This is not actually a wine," one taster noted. Pair with access to text messaging services.

[image via Shutterstock]