Here's Your Useless Iowa Political Weather Report

It's the best part of any presidential election cycle: That period a few days before the Iowa caucuses when no one's working and so you just type some nonsense about the weather in Iowa. What if the weather is snow? Someone wins. What if it is anti-snow, or sun? Well in that case the other schmuck wins.

Who wins if there's snow in Iowa, Bloomberg News?

The best scenario for [Ron Paul's] Republican presidential bid would be a blizzard in Iowa on Jan. 3, when voting at 1,774 precinct caucuses officially starts the party's nominating process, political experts say.

Ron Paul wins if there's snow in Iowa.

Who wins if there's no snow in Iowa?

Clear skies, like those predicted next week, could benefit former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, if more mainstream Republicans turn out in an election year when they are eager to unseat President Barack Obama. Romney held a slight advantage over Paul in a poll of likely caucus-goers released yesterday.

Mitt Romney wins if there's no snow in Iowa.

Thus ends your 2012 Presidential Election Iowa Caucus Weather Report.

[Image via AP]