As the world sat glued to their media display devices awaiting the latest Beyoncé BabyWatch developments, one man — a 48-year-old resident of Ohio — whiled away the holiday weekend in a state of blissful Beyoncé ignorance. Not only was he unaware that a Lil-Z might shimmy out from between her million-dollar legs at any given moment, he had no clue that Beyoncé and Jay-Z were even married. We know, we know — shocking. Still, it doesn't seem quite bad enough to earn him a stabbing.

Ronald Deaver [upper right], 31, of Parma, was arrested and charged with felonious assault for allegedly stabbing a 48-year-old Garfield Heights man following an argument.

Det. Compton says the fight began because the victim did not know that singer Beyonce's husband is rapper Jay-Z...The alleged stabbing occurred around 11:00 p.m. on December 31, 2011, outside Deaver's apartment.

Here's sincerely hoping the scales of justice will tip harshly against Deaver, a man who takes his celebrity gossip altogether too seriously, even for our unsparing tastes. It's a slippery slope with these things; a slap on the wrist in this instance, the next thing you know 14-year-old girls are feeling comfortable enough to take out their parents with semi-automatic weapons just for wondering out loud if "Justin Bieber is still dating that Serena Lopez girl." [FOX8, Photo via AP, Mugshot via Fox 8]