Drunk Lady Rubs Butt, Tries to Pee on $30 Million Painting

Everyone's a critic! Especially Carmen Tisch of Denver, who really does not like abstract expressionist Clyfford Still very much, and expressed that displeasure by punching his painting "1957-J no.2." And also rubbing her butt on it.

Tisch, 36, was, shockingly, drunk when she entered the recently-opened Clyfford Still museum in Denver, punched "1957-J no.2," dropped trou, and "slid down it," rubbing her butt all over its abstract expressive canvas and causing some $10,000 worth of damage. She also peed on herself—but, despite her best efforts, did not manage to actually pee on the painting:

"It doesn't appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she's not being charged with that," said Lynn Kimbrough, a spokeswoman for the Denver District Attorney's Office, said Wednesday.

Not being charged with urinating on a painting! Jerry Saltz would have peed all over that motherfucker.

[NBC, Denver Post]