Google Says Please Apply in Writing To Enter Search Results

You never call, you never write, and Google has had it: If you would like entry into the spiffy new Google search results, and you are a social network, Google would like you to send the company a letter first.

Google chairman Eric Schmidt, wait what did he just say, has responded to the accelerating shitstorm over how his company's new search results give special treatment to Google Plus and leave Facebook and Twitter out in the cold. Twitter said the change will make finding tweets "much harder for everyone," but Schmidt told Marketing Land that Twitter and Facebook can maybe get special treatment like Google Plus if they write a special letter to Google saying, "please please let us in to your awesome search results, we love you 4ever byeee." See clip above, excerpted from Marketing Land's longer video.

The interviewer tries to point out that Twitter and Facebook have already put data on the open web and given Google the needed formal permission to index it, but Schmidt isn't having it, he wants his damned letter. You can just tell he's thinking, "they're lucky I'm not asking for a DNA sample." Some day, that's what it will take, to get into Google. They're not big on privacy or anonymity, these guys. Go figure.