Wolf Blitzer Defends Politicians' Honor in Cute Children's Essay

Have you been cracking wise about our cherished field of Republican presidential candidates? Perhaps calling them "assholes" when they do and say horrible things? Let's grow up already. Because stilted CNN misery bot Wolf Blitzer will surely put us in detention if this goes on much longer.

The man who whittles our national politics into an easily digestible SportsCenter highlight reel each and every day — no judging here! — has penned a statesmanlike essay for BLITZER'S BLOG, titled "A salute to politicians." This is the not the daily grilling we've come to not expect from CNN's chief inquisitor.

Wolf admires "these politicians who put themselves out there before the American public knowing full well that all their warts will be exposed big time." He knows how tough it must be for these politicians to field shitty, distracting questions all day from Wolf Blitzer, or if they're really unlucky, a stupid voter who knows nothing and must be humored:

I've seen them in action, and it's tough. They get up early in the morning and go to sleep late at night. They have to deliver the same stump speech over and over and over again, and then answer an endless amount of often annoying questions at town hall meetings, at diners and from reporters such as me.

These candidates could be sitting in their tropical outer space gated colonies drinking gold nectar out of their gold chalices and eating country club truffleburgers. Instead, they sacrifice themselves, they destroy themselves, because someone's got to be the most powerful person on Earth:

Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman, Ron Paul and Rick Perry could have taken the easy path and relaxed and enjoyed life. Instead of playing golf and hanging out with their children and grandchildren, they are working hard trying to get the Republican presidential nomination. In the process, they are bitterly attacked - often for good reason.

The cynics can have their cynicism. Sometimes their cynicism is warranted. But if you're Wolf Blitzer, a political journalist with incredible access, your duty is to remind voters, Hey — these are good guys. Let's salute them.

The cynics say they have huge egos and are simply seeking power and glory.

That is certainly true of some politicians.

But having covered many of them over the years, I also know some are trying to do the right thing, and I salute them.

If only all political journalists were brave enough to do their job for once: saluting their friends, the politicians.

[via Salon; Image of Wolf Blitzer sharing a "light moment" with Vice President Dick Cheney in 2002 via AP]