'Obama Shuts Down Main Street USA': An Exciting New Opportunity to Make Bad Jokes

President Obama will visit Walt Disney World tomorrow. The plan is to "unveil a strategy that will significantly help boost tourism and travel," according to the White House, which informs us that this is "an important sector in the U.S. economy." All well and good, but let's skip to the important part: What delicious Republican wisecracks that we'll hear ten million times over the next year will emerge from this?

See if you can spot anything in this paragraph from a News 13 story that could serve as a wellspring for delicious Republican wisecracks:

Disney says the president will be at the Magic Kingdom, which means guests can plan for heavy security. Main Street USA will be closed for the duration of the president's time there. Guests will be re-routed to other parts of the park. Disney is also cancelling extra magic hours for the Magic Kingdom, and pushing back the "Celebrate a Dream Come True" parade.

The cancellation of magic and delay of dream-realization bits could get the job done, but the Main Street line (their emphasis) is the big catch here. It's grounded, familiar. And it should be enough shameless out-of-context fuel for two Romney 30-second televised spots, three Romney web videos, new stump speeches for Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry, 56 Romney/Gingrich Super PAC ads, and a permanent new revenue stream for the GOP's many specialists in the field of separating fools from their money.

And the jokes. Just think of the jokes we'll get! Let's come up with some right the hell now:

  • Did you see Obama went to Disney World and — get this — shut down Main Street USA? That is a comical metaphor.
  • Obama can't even go to a theme park now without closing off a section of that theme park as part of his standard security protocol. What is with this guy?
  • So Main Street USA shuts down when Obama shows up. This ain't exactly news to the American people.
  • Typical.
  • Sounds familiar, doesn't it?
  • Just so typical.
  • Obama's not there? Main Street USA open. Obama's there? Main Street USA closed. That about says it.

Sorry for taking all the good ones.

[Disturbing image of robot Barack Obama at Disney World's Hall of Presidents via AP]