In the past we have called satchel of fairy dust Zooey Deschanel a living dog sweater, Bambi's rabbit friend, and hipster labradoodle with bangs, that doesn't mean we hate her. No, Zooey, we want you to come back and read Gawker.
In their new cover story, Zooey told Allure, ""I can't go on Gawker. I actually think the writing is really funny, but there is a chance that somebody is undercutting me." Aw, Zooey, don't do us like that. Those names aren't insults they're just whimsical descriptions.
I'm not going to launch a full on "In Defense of Zooey Deschanel," because like abortion, Cadbury Creme Eggs, and veganism, the sides of the Zooey debate are fiercely divided and horribly intractable. She is the most love it or hate it proposition in modern culture. Personally, I get why she is annoying to some people, but I find her to be kind of charming. I also enjoy her show New Girl and find it to be funny, different, and rather entertaining. I still like Raising Hope better, but that is some seriously tough competition.
I'm not going to tell you to like her or list all her good qualities. I'm not going to tell you to hate her and give a litany of reasons why. No, I'm just going to say that maybe we should be a little nicer to Zooey so that she can come here on this webpage and enjoy some celebrity gossip, strange internet culture exposes, and news funnies. Maybe if she could, you'd like her a bit more. Maybe all the detractors can say, "She is not my cup of tea, I am moving on." Maybe you can direct all your hatred to something that really deserves it like the continued wars in the Middle East, hate crimes, and that bitch Rene Zellweger.
Can we agree on that? Because we really want you to come back to the five and dime, Zooey D, Zooey D.
[Image via Getty]