Now that he escaped the treacherous Grilled Cheese, The Situation has another danger to face: his birthday. Apparently Sitch and DJ Paulie Decade were born only a day apart, so this year they were going to celebrate their birthdays together. DJ Paulie Delightful's family surprises him by coming down from Rhode Island (and his mother even brought along his barber so that he could attend to DJ Paulie Depilatory's hair). Everyone is so excited for DJ Paulie DaBomb's birthday and no one gives a shit about The Situation's.

Then he gets all mopey that no one likes him and is whining that he doesn't always want to be the villain. The Situation needs to shut the fuck up with this. He is the alpha male of the tribe and they way he keeps that position is by being an absolute asshole to everyone. He's continuing to threaten Snooki by telling Jionni about their hookup, he alienates and antagonizes everyone at every chance he gets, and then he's surprised that they don't want to celebrate his birth?

This is classic top dog behavior. When he feels threatened, he acts out and tells everyone that he will be the villain so that he can maintain power. But then when he is slighted for wielding that power, he acts all hurt and says that he will reform and make everyone love him. Until their affection threatens to supplant him, in which case he'll begin antagonizing them again. It's a vicious cycle to keep yourself on top. The Situation has two choices: he can suck it up and take it like all the other alpha men in history or he can become like Paula and stop caring. Other than that, you'll just have to let that heavy crown weigh down on your big ears even harder.