People Say Really Stupid Things About The Wire on OKCupid

The Wire is one of my favorite shows of all time and, yes, one of the best shows ever on television. That does not mean a show about urban blight, broken systems, drug dealers, and the strange Baltimore accent is going to get you laid. Probably the opposite in fact. But that doesn't mean people aren't using The Wire to try to get dates on OKCupid.

I'm not all that familiar with the ins and outs of eYenta OKCupid, but apparently lots of people (men especially) like to refer to The Wire in their profiles. As a result we have this lovely new Twitter account OKCLovesTheWire, which sends out the strangest paeans to the dearly departed HBO telenovela. Here are a selection of my favorites so far.

OK, guys (and Cupid, I guess), I'm going to clue you into something: The Wire is not sexy. Well, the show itself has a lot of sex in it, but talking about The Wire and obsessing over it like a drooling fanboy will not impress women. All the ladies I interviewed said that if a boy talked about The Wire on a date, it would not make her moist in the panties like he might hope it would. In fact, it would do the opposite. And some of these ladies were fans of The Wire.

As for some of these specific Tweets, watching a television show is not a skill, talking about peeing in a dating profile is a bad idea (unless you're on WaterSportsFans.com), and saying that you can't follow something will make you sound stupid. Also, The Wire is a TV show, and if you want to attract someone on the basis of liking or not liking a TV show, then maybe you shouldn't say you're going to ditch your TV after watching said show because, well, that makes you sound like a stupid, irrational, insufferable snob. Also, do not quote entire scenes of anything on a date. That is bad. You want to woo a girl with your words and your personality, not something you learned rewatching a television show on your Friday nights alone. That just makes you look boring and unoriginal.

The only good quotes so far on this Twitter feed are the last two. The one about being a longshoreman is sexy because blue collar guys with big muscles are a turn on (at least to this The Wire viewer). Also, it references the show in an indirect way so it clues the ladies into this strapping gentleman's love for The Wire without making him sound like it defines him in some scary way. The final one is great because, well, everyone loves Omar and it is sort of a silly take on The Show That Dares Speak Its Name Over and Over on OKCupid. What you want on any dating profile is to sound clever and original and sexy and unique. Raving about The Wire, though justified, is none of those things.