'Swimming in a Kiddie Pool of Vomit and Semen': Life as a Dartmouth 'Whale Shit'

Dartblog, a blog dedicated to America's favorite paleo-con farm, has published an alleged draft of an op-ed about to run in the Dartmouth's student paper recounting in exquisite detail the hazing that one frat-inclined student encountered, including being "forced to swim in a kiddie pool full of vomit, urine, fecal matter, semen, and rotten food." Wait, there's more.

Here's the full list of indignities, allegedly compiled by Andrew Lohse ('12), who previously caused a stir by speaking out against investment banks' recruitment practices on campus:

Among my many experiences as a fraternity pledge, I was: forced to swim in a kiddie pool full of vomit, urine, fecal matter, semen, and rotten food products; forced to eat an omelet made of vomit; forced to chug cups of vinegar until I was afraid that I would vomit blood like one of my fellow pledges did; forced to inhale nitrous oxide; degraded psychologically on a daily basis; forced to drink beers poured down a fellow pledge's ass crack; vomited on regularly, and encouraged to vomit on others.

As a pledge, I ceased to be a human being; instead, I became a "whale shit". In the process, I, my fellow pledges, and all pledges since, have been trained to treat Dartmouth women with about the same respect with which we treated ourselves: none.

The piece goes on to accuse the administration of failing to act on curbing the "intoxicating nihilism" that animates frat culture at Dartmouth. One fellow pledge, it says, sought counseling after the experience only to go on to "train" pledges himself.

Lohse doesn't show up in Dartmouth's directory; an e-mail to the Dartmouth's editor wasn't immediately returned. Whether the piece is authentic or not, one thing is true: If you join a frat and volunteer to let people vomit on you and bathe in semen because you believe that if you do, people will eventually think you're "cool," you totally deserve to get vomited on and bathed in semen. Enjoy your college years, kids.

[Image by Kevin Goebel via Flickr]