In case you were wondering, xoJane writer Julieanne Smolinski prefers not to be punched in the head during sex. She knows a lot of people who are into it, though. So if you're into punching during sex, don't have sex with Julieanne, but maybe ask her for a referral.
Meanwhile, in a post entitled "The Cat Marnell School of Dating," xoJane Beauty & Health director Cat Marnell uses a proxy to instruct the guy she is dating that "if you don't call her within the next 15 minutes she's going to self-harm with a Marlborough Ultra Light."
Any day now, we're going to find out that Jane Pratt is actually the cult leader from Martha Marcy May Marlene. Let these poor young women go, Jane. This violent nubile orgy has gone too far. [xoJane, xoJane, images via Shutterstock]