Today we heard from donkey semen swallower Brynne Odioso, who said knocking back a glass of viscous donkey spooge is "the sickest thing you can ever imagine."
Beg to differ. Here are twelve things sicker than drinking donkey jizz that I imagined just now:
- Drinking donkey diarrhea.
- Swimming in donkey diarrhea.
- Swimming in donkey diarrhea with your mouth open
- Baking a soufflé with the smegma of Newt Gingrich.
- Licking clean a fecally incontinent nonagenarian's butt.
- Sucking farts out of a lactose intolerant warthog.
- Licking Michael Lohan's taint.
- Rubbing your face through the still-squirming flesh of a vivisected human.
- Sticking your tubular nose up someone else's anus, and pulling out a turd with your nostril. (Applies only to elephants.)
- Sticking your head in an elephant's anus.
- Pouring period blood into Goatse's giant asshole, sprinkling leper skin on top, then inserting a straw made from the foreskins of mummies, and drinking it.
- The institution of the monarchy in Great Britain.
The last one is a metaphor. [Image via Eric Isselée/Shutterstock]