Five Things to Pay Attention To Instead of Donald Trump's "Major Announcement" Tomorrow

Uh-oh, guys: Donald Trump just tweeted that he will be making a "major announcement" tomorrow. Is he maniacally ridiculous enough to run as an independent candidate for President? Is he ending his awful reality show? (Is his show even still on? We stopped watching after they got rid of Omorosa.) Is he perhaps going to half-endorse a candidate just to copy Sarah Palin? Did he write a book of Ronald Reagan fan fiction? Oh well, no one cares. Every photon of limelight shed on this peripatetic gasbag contributes directly to the girth of his already morbidly obese ego. Seriously. Therefore, here is a list of five things cool or inconsequential things on the Internets for you to read about or watch tomorrow during his idiotic "announcement" whatever it is, because they are all more interesting than Donald Trump:

— Children in Great Britain were forced to watch in petrified horror as a lion ate an adorable barn owl.

— Watch out for these new self-aiming bullets, yikes.

— The real-life version of Outbreak has begun at a Jesuit high school in San Francisco. How biblical.

—Mitt Romney was glitter-bombed. Ha ha.

— Charges were dropped against all but a dozen out of the 400 Occupy Oakland protesters arrested three days ago. Good.

[Image via AP]