The New CEO of Dow Jones Is a 'Family Size Bag o’ Douche'

Last July, Les Hinton resigned as CEO of Wall Street Journal publisher Dow Jones, as part of the far-flung fallout from the News Corp phone hacking scandal. At long last, his replacement has been named: a "purple-suited arsse."

That would be Lex Fenwick, the former CEO of Bloomberg, picked yesterday to lead Dow Jones into a glorious and presumably phone-hack-free future. Congratulations, Lex. Please allow us to celebrate this occasion by reprinting this relevant section from the 2008 resignation letter that former Bloomberg employee Jerel Smith sent around—one of the most delightfully insane end-of-employment documents of our time:

{Fon Lex fen} *Former CEO* …I'd love to smack the heroine needle out of your arm and shove
it up your purple suited arsse you loud mouth tasteless family size bag o'
douche…no wonder you're always screaming at everyone, you probably need a fix
you amy winehouse hermaphradite bbc walking fashion fopa….quiet the fuk down,
join narcotics anonymous, and stop wearing suits that match the neon colored
rooms of the building….peter g. Runs the show, everyone knows that, fukin
court jesture…and soomee, rock on…done

Any Dow Jones employees who feel the urge to share thoughts about their new boss in the coming weeks should contact me.

[Photo: Getty]