Goddamn it. Stephen Colbert did a segment last night featuring breading, the meme we unfortunately launched this week. This means at least another week of my inbox overflowing with pictures of cats inside pieces of bread. Didn't anyone at the Colbert Report see that breading is totally over?
Colbert joked that the million dollars he raised for his super PAC was going to be invested in breading: "The next big internet sensation." Colbert wasn't the only big outlet to cover breading. CNN did a segment on breading today.
How did we get here? I coined the term 'breading' on Tuesday to describe the months-old internet trend I plucked out of obscurity to earn cheap pageviews on my assigned day to shamelessly grovel for pageviews. I tried to stop it that day, before it spiraled out of control. But I underestimated the viral power of breading. I created a monster, then stuck that monster's tiny adorable head into a hollowed-out piece of rye bread.
Breading must stop. But the only way to end a meme as virulent as breading has become is to find another meme to take its place, which can then be branded the "next breading." Oh, here's one: Running through the woods with 42 St. Bernards. "Bernarding" is the new breading! Stop emailing your pictures of your cats with their heads in pieces of bread, and start emailing me your pictures of yourself running through the woods with a pack of at least 42 giant dogs: Adrian@gawker.com. That goes doubly for you, Stephen Colbert, if you're reading this.
[via Dan Blondell]