Yesterday, the U.S. attorney's office put an end to a two-year investigation into Lance Armstrong's potential performance-enhancing drug use. After surviving testicular cancer, Armstrong won the Tour de France seven years in a row between 1999 and 2005 (or, as we called it in 2003, the Tour de Freedom).
For skeptics, this won't come as welcome news. Former teammates Tyler Hamilton and Floyd Landis—most recently known for engaging Armstrong in an awkward bathroom encounter at a fancy-pants Aspen restaurant and a barrage of surreal Twitter trolling—publicly accused the cyclist of doping. (For detailed coverage of previous evidence levied against Armstrong, check in with Sports Illustrated and our cousins at Deadspin.)
But Lance, America's favorite one-testicled athlete and favorite non-astronaut Armstrong, sounds understandably psyched in a press statement released last night:
"It is the right decision and I commend them for reaching it. I look forward to continuing my life as a father, a competitor and an advocate in the fight against cancer without this distraction."
Armstrong's lawyer Mark Fabiani claims that Armstrong, who has never failed a drug screening, is the "most tested athlete in the history of sports." We'll have to see about that—it's not clear if Fabiani counted paternity tests.
(Image via Getty)