Tech Dorks Are Secretly Wearing Amazing Socks

Silicon Valley geeks are wearing garish fun socks under their very blah super-casual uniforms, according to the always unreliable New York Times Style section. It's "almost like a gang sign," says one Googler. OH REALLY? TELL US MORE.

"Showy socks hark back to the 1700s," says the Times. So it's a retro thing? Actually no, it's futuristic: wearers want to show "they are [the] number-one pioneers," said a Swedish sock purveyor. Or actually it's a subconscious coping mechanism for people who feel socially awkward, says a sociologist. Joey Flynn, 24, of Facebook, finally breaks it down. "Let's say you are wearing sweat pants and a hoodie, but you have really cool socks on." YES?!?!? We're waiting with bated breath over here. "It can be this rebellion against everything."

Who knew socks could be so subversive? It's not like there's any substantive way a twentysomething code jockey at Facebook could throw a wrench in the global machine of endless exploitation. Fight the power, everyone. But stop at the flamboyant stockings: Toe shoes might be big in the Valley, but they're for assholes.