When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Aniston sex partner and literary scion Justin Theroux shows his bush in this week's New York magazine, prompting squeals of dismay (and occasional arousal?) worldwide.

Some will that say Justin's pube shot is gratuitous. But did you know that pubic hair is the most expressive part of a male celebrity's body? Come, let us explore the many things male celebrities' pubic hair have to say.

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Justin Theroux's peekaboo bush: "What do I have to do to make you stop talking about Jennifer? What's that? How does Jen feel about my pubes? Fuck. This."

Image via New York

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Ryan Reynolds' barely-there pubes: "I am barely interesting."

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Pete Doherty's spongy bush and hairy inner-thigh mole: "I date out of my league."

Image via Vogue Hommes

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Adam Levine's uber-coiffed lady-hand pubes: "I am a douche."

Image via Cosmopolitan UK

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Alex Pettyfer's Thank You tattoo pubes: "I am a douche."

Image via V Man

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Morrissey's scattered pubes: "I continue to be sexlessly sexy."

Image via Pitchfork

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Jesus Luz's robust bush: "Stop calling me a sissy. 100% hombre."

Image via Interview

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Ian Somerhalder's droopy puppies: "Please. Help. I am a grown man with a fan base made entirely of 14-year-old girls."

Image via Hollywood Life

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Rob Pattinson's dark forest: "I am uncomfortable with my body, but gaze at it if you must."

When Male Celebrities Show Their Pubes, They Show Their Souls

Sen. Scott Brown's vintage bush: "LOL. Betcha didn't see this coming."

Image via Cosmopolitan