Oh-oh, a new study of entry-level investment bankers finds the young masters of the universe afflicted with "insomnia, alcoholism, heart palpitations, eating disorders and an explosive temper." And that's the young ones. Why destroy yourself like that? There are lots of safer activities than investment banking.
- Getting laid off from your investment banking job.
- Moping around the house.
- Sending resume after resume to "contacts" you picked up on LinkedIn.
- Walking the dog, again.
- Going to the gym. Might as well. Gotta burn that energy.
- Hiring hookers from Craigslist with the rapidly dwindling leftovers of your old bonus checks in a futile attempt to stave off the creeping depression associated with having the foundation of your personal identity wrenched away from you by forces beyond your control.
- Going on job interview after mind-numbing job interview.
- Watching cable television.
- Getting a new job in the exciting and growing career field of multi-level marketing.
Investment banking: not worth it, kids.